When You Feel So Tired But You Can't Sleep....

I just have so much going on and I'm thinking about too much to be able to peacefully fall asleep....
I mean, A lot had happened this week. So bear with me, cause this is gonna be one long post.

First off, I'm hopelessly confused about everything. And I mean everything.
I was supposed to be moving up to my dad's house sometime in the next few weeks but my mother (going back on her word) refuses to sign the papers.
I have no clue when I'm moving now, so I'm not going to be in the musical which I really had my heart set on doing... it would've been my first musical with my Drama Family...

I fell down concrete stairs yesterday because my foot went out from under me -__- My ass is probably bruised on the right side and I have some small abrasions on the back of my ankle. And my whole right leg is sore as fuck.

I also want to be friends with Vic again. I still trust him, hell I'd trust him with my life. I know him, and I know he's as trustworthy as anyone can be today. I mean, he's the only person in this world who has physically been there to stop me from cutting. He's seen me at my best, my worst, and my most vulnerable in every sense of the word. He knows how I get, and how to deal with me when everyone else is clueless. He knows the fragility that I hid behind a mask, and he knows what I have to deal with at home and what an impact it has on me. There were days when I swore he knew me better than I knew me.

How can I not trust someone who knows me inside and out?
And how can I not want to trust someone I know so well, and that I care about?
How can I not talk to someone who was a huge part of my life for a long time?
How can I not want to have some sort of connection, no matter how small, so someone like that?