(Written on April 24, 2017)
This morning, in the midst of loneliness (because I live alone, and am sick lol), I opened YouTube app from my iPad. I was hoping for some random entertainment or variety show to cheer me up, but I ended up clicking a music video of IU, my favourite Korean singer when I was 15 years old. What makes me excited are the fact that IU wrote the lyrics, Sam Kim (one of my favourite singers) composed this song, and Kim Soo Hyun appeared in this MV, which reminds me of old time, when they were in Dream High. Anyway! This song was such a major throwback for me. I started to reminiscing the past and remember why I was a big fan of her. Here is the MV,
As I listened to the song, it felt like... there was a small part of me that came back, like finding a missing puzzle in life. Sorrow suddenly overcame me, yet, twas mixed with small traces of delight, like an aftertaste. Such an interesting dynamic isn't it? I'm not exactly sure why I was like that. The sad melody and the MV itself perfectly portray such a tragic love, where the couple is not meant to be together. Although the theme is very cliche, it still brings a tingling sensation in my heart. A theme that everyone won't get tired of.
But here is the english translation of the lyrics,
[Verse 1]
Hello, it’s been a while
There’s no question mark in your voice, it’s so you
As if it’s a rule
Your seat is always the same, by the cold entrance
Hello, it’s been a while
There’s no question mark in your voice, it’s so you
As if it’s a rule
Your seat is always the same, by the cold entrance
[Verse 2]
Make sure you eat well, because it’ll all pass
You'll be able to sleep well like you did before
I really mean it from the bottom of my heart
You have the right to become happier
Make sure you eat well, because it’ll all pass
You'll be able to sleep well like you did before
I really mean it from the bottom of my heart
You have the right to become happier
[Chorus]
Don’t say those words, please
You know those words hurt me even more
You said you would love me, so what is this
You don’t know what kind of heart you gave me
Don’t say those words, please
You know those words hurt me even more
You said you would love me, so what is this
You don’t know what kind of heart you gave me
[Verse 3]
As much as you were lonely
I really hope you meet someone
Who will love you more than you do
I’m sorry that's not me
It’s not easy to give
As much as you were lonely
I really hope you meet someone
Who will love you more than you do
I’m sorry that's not me
It’s not easy to give
[Chorus]
Don’t say those words, please
You know those words hurt me even more
You said you would love me, so what is this
You don’t know what kind of heart you gave me
Don’t say those words, please
You know those words hurt me even more
You said you would love me, so what is this
You don’t know what kind of heart you gave me
[Outro]
Please be honest with me
You know I'll believe anything you say
Just like you said
Do you think that I will ever
Be loved by someone like me?
Please be honest with me
You know I'll believe anything you say
Just like you said
Do you think that I will ever
Be loved by someone like me?
Although this song is directed to certain someone, but all I can see is how I missed my innocent childhood. Twas the time when we can just be who we are, with not much knowledge of world, more specifically of how harsh reality is. Precious time, when you can just be yourself, without worrying what tomorrow awaits you. Something that you love, but you can't and will never be able to sustain. Obviously, I wished I could just stay in my small world, a perfect fairytale, where everything is under control. But reality is not that pretty. I guess this song is not just about romance, but indirectly talks about reality.
Even in romance, this song shows that man and woman can't be together just because they like each other. It all begins with love. A love that naturally grows mutually. But, reality hits you hard, and you realise that can't love freely, unless you can ensure the future, unless society accepts you. Sometimes, you also can't help but to let your precious one goes. Without a word, you broke that relationship, because you don't have the strength to let go, and perhaps because... you want to leave a space, a small ray of hope to be together again. But in the end... when you truly love someone, you just want the best for them, even if it means that he might forget you.
That's the time when I realised that sometimes we can't help, but being controlled by our surrounding. Being helpless, with no trace of hope. That's sorrow for me.
But... I think I'm glad. At the very least, I experienced that carefree innocent time, that sadly can't be redo. Although that moment has passed, the trace of it still lingers in my mind, which I'm grateful enough. A memory that I cherish, a memory that can bring some trace of happiness in my present self. I think that is good enough, besides, we can't really live in the past right?
I remember why I was a fan of her. Her musics, actually portray some stages in life. From her very first song up til now, I can see how her music grows in maturity. It portrays what people, women in particular, are facing as they get older. As if, the song creates an unspoken understanding with its listener. Honestly, I can always relate with her song. Even when there was a stage when I disliked her song, but I still can relate with it. Weird, isn't it? But you can actually feel it as you grow up listening to her songs.
